Pogateotr
by Renegader
Summary: The Psychos return to humiliate the cast of YYH. APPEARANCES BY YOKO KURAMA AND KURONUE.
1. Chapter 1: Get Out of the Closet

Pogateotr

Chapter One- Get Out of the Closet

Disclaimer: It's not mine and it never was. But maybe someday… (Dragon: NO, Spazz.)  
Fine… *Sighs*

Spazz stared mournfully at the computer screen of her shiny laptop, Excalibur. It was still hard for her to believe that after all those years, Dragon now lived hours away in some town with a pansy-ass name Spazz couldn't quite recall. Remembering the good times, an idea came to her. Grinning, she sent Dragon an IM over Yahoo while pulling up old fanfic files on her computer. Thus, the games began.

Atsuko Urameshi woke from a deep, drunken sleep to a loud pounding in her head. "Ughhh," she moaned, rolling over. The pounding continued. Atsuko was quite seriously considering taking the effort to get up and search for a painkiller to cease her throbbing headache when a voice accompanied the pounding. "YO, URAMESHI, OPEN UP!"

"Oh, just someone at the door," Atsuko mumbled to herself. "COME INSIDE!" she hollered at her visitor.

A few moments later, two young girls entered the living room where she lay draped over the couch. "Konichiwa, Urameshi-sama," the shorter brunette bowed politely. "Might I inquire as to Yusuke's whereabouts?"

Atsuko muttered something about "woke up early" and "that nice boy Kurama".

The other girl bowed so deeply that her shoulder-length hair touched the tips of her toes. "Gracias, Señora! Adios!"

The first girl punched her squarely in the kidneys, muttering, "We're in JAPAN now, dumbass!" as Atsuko looked wistfully to the kitchen, where she kept the Advil.

The two slowly backed out of the room undetected, then made a break for it, sprinting as they reached the doorstep.

Atsuko turned back to find that the two had disappeared. "That's funny," she murmured, her forehead creasing. "I could have sworn I heard someone knock on the door."

A few minutes later, Spazz and Dragon had arrived at the doorstep of Kurama's house. This time, they didn't bother knocking- Dragon kicked down the door.

"We're BACK, bitches!" Spazz yelled enthusiastically to a vacant entryway.

Dragon gave Spazz a look that conveyed her aggravation.

The hyper teen shrugged. "I've been wanting to do that."

They made their way up the stairs, to Kurama's room. Upon entering, they spotted Kuwabara staring at Yusuke, who was talking to a closet. Hiei and Kurama were not to be seen.

"Why are you hiding? Who's coming? Kurama, I don't understand!" Yusuke was fretting to the closet.

"Uh, Urameshi, you might want to turn around," Kuwabara advised the spirit detective, pointing to the doorway behind Yusuke in which Dragon and Spazz stood.

"Can't it wait for just a-" Yusuke stopped as he saw the two. Instead of finishing his sentence, he swallowed loudly. "I've heard about that one," he quivered, looking at Dragon.

The girl stared plainly back at him, expressionless.

"GOD, MAKE IT STOP!" Yusuke cried, falling on the ground.

Spazz walked to the closet and knocked insistently upon it. There was no reply. Again, and more violently, she rapped her knuckles on the wood. Still, nothing happened.

Sighing, the little freak lifted the closet door from its tracks and set it aside to reveal a crouched kitsune.

"KURAMA!" Spazz scolded. "I thought Kairee told you to get out of the closet!"

"That was last time," he reminded her warily.

"Oh. That explains why Kuwabara's alive again," Spazz acknowledged.

Dragon just sighed and shook her head. "Where's the fire demon?"

Kurama nodded toward his bed, whispering, "Don't sell me out!"

Dragon lifted the bedskirt to reveal Hiei, who swore profusely at being revealed.

"WHO TOLD THEM?!" he demanded furously.

"Kurama did!" Spazz smiled.

"HEY!" the kitsune protested, sounding mildly hurt.

"Oh. Sorry, I forgot," Spazz shrugged.

"OKAY! I DEMAND you give back the stuff you stole!"

Spazz looked over at Dragon, shocked. She was standing in a threatening pose, pointing at the bed.

Kuwabara blinked. "Um…That's just a bed."

Yusuke tackled him from his place on the floor. A sword tip poked out from under the bed and proceeded to poke at Dragon's feet.

"No! I want the stuff you stole! NOW, YOU VILE PORK-COW!"

Spazz burst into laughter.

"What stuff, you insane human?! I've never seen you before in my life!" Hiei declared.

"Y'know, one time I was using Word and it said your name was spelled Heidi." Spazz remarked from her place by the closet.

"Really?" Dragon asked, sidetracked from her current rant. "Cuz Word informed me your name was spelled Snazzy." Hiei attempted to sneak from under the bed.

"My things?!"

"Fool! I do not have your things!"

Kurama sighed.

"Don't you know when these two say you have something, you do, Hiei?"

"That's right, Kurama! Good boy! Now you get to come out of the closet!" Spazz said excitedly. She moved to the side.

He cowered a bit more. "No, I'm good in here, thanks."

Her eyes narrowed. "I said OUT."

"Okay." Kurama said in a small voice, exiting the closet.

"What items do you claim I have?" the fire demon asked Dragon warily.

"Two gumballs, a paperclip, a rubber band, and three pennies." Dragon huffed and crossed her arms. Hiei stared blankly. Yusuke watched on with ever-growing suspense. Just then, Kuwabara sat up. Hiei disappeared under the bed for a moment, then reappeared. He offered up a handful of random junk- the same random junk that had been missing from Dragon's pocket. "I told you you had my stuff."

"Now what?" Spazz asked.

"You take your stuff and leave us alone? In peace? With our sanity intact?" Yusuke asked.

"WRONG!" she shouted.

"We could go to Home Depot." Dragon suggested.

"Or Toys R Us." Spazz replied.

"Taco Bell! Taco Bell is spiffy!"

"I prefer McDonalds," Yusuke pouted.

"No McDonalds," Spazz informed him with all the seriousness of a monkey in a blender.

"Foobaloobayubikaland?" Dragon inquired.

"Hmm….." Kuwabara stood up and waved to the desk.

"Didn't you die?" Spazz asked, disappointed.

"Yeah. But I'm just too cool to stay dead."

"Or too stupid," Yusuke muttered. Dragon raised her eyebrow at Yusuke's newfound intelligence.

"Let us be off, fellow comrades!" Spazz shouted.

"Where this time?" the fox demon asked warily.

"Hush your face, nonbeliever." Dragon demanded.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Yes, but what sense does that-"

"Spazz! Spazzy Spazz! Captain Spazzy-Pants!"

Spazz turned around furiously and glared at her cohort. "What?!"

"I feel as if someone were missing….." Dragon stated airily.

"You're insane. No one's missing. Besides Kairee."

"Yeah, I'm insane. But someone is missing." she said, matter-of-factly.

A look of enlightenment crossed Spazz's face. "Ah. Now he's not." A large crashing took place, resulting in a large bat-demon sized hole in Kurama's ceiling. Then some cursing.

"Yay!" Dragon jumped up and down. Kuronue sat up and coughed.

"Ohdeargodsnotyouagain." he said quickly.

"Yeah. It's me again. You should feel honored. Not everyone gets to go." Dragon replied.

"Go where?" Kurama asked.

"On a trip!" Spazz said brightly. Kuwabara stepped back at the sight of the bat demon.

"NOOOOO!!!!" Dragon howled in agony. Kuwabara started choking, and then fell backwards, dead.

"Aside from the general Kuwabara-ness, what was that for?" Spazz asked.

"Bitch stepped on my floor cake." Dragon replied. Yusuke craned his neck and sure enough, under Kuwabara's big fat foot, there was a piece of cake on a pretty blue plate. Spazz nodded sympathetically.

"But why was it on the floor?" Hiei asked.

"Cuz it tastes better off the floor." The two hellions replied in unison. Kuronue took a step back.

"No you don't!" Dragon yelled.

"We're going to Candy Mountain!" Yusuke shouted.

"Umm…no." Spazz replied. "We're going on an adventure."

"To Candy Mountain?" Yusuke asked, down on his knees with a pleading look on his face.

"Do you have a map?" Spazz asked. Dragon pulled out a magical bag and rifled through it.

"I do. I also have one for Instamagilagicalland. And the incomplete one for Foobaloobayubikaland."

"Well, off we go!" Spazz shouted, as if she had already decided where they were going. Which she had.

(A/N): More upcoming… Much more. Bwahahaha!!!! ^^


	2. Chapter 2: Lots of Hell Questions

Pogateotr

Chapter Two- Lots of 'Hell' Questions

Disclaimer: Disclaimer stuff. (I just spent about a minute trying to successfully type "disclaimer"; it was bound to be a short one.)

Kuronue stared apathetically downward, still walking forward, as he kicked aside a small rock. They were surrounded by a vast amount of trees, and it smelled faintly of salt. He had no clue where the hell they were, or where the hell they were headed to.

"How the hell did I even get to Kurama's room in the first place?" the bat demon muttered to himself. "Last thing I knew I was going about the usual 'being dead' routine, then all of a sudden I'm falling through the roof of Kurama's house."

Dragon quieted him with a psychopathic glance in his direction, walking a few feet to one side. Kuronue shuddered. As crazy as Spazz was, this one scared him even more.

Meanwhile, Spazz was frolicking in circles about Hiei as they progressed through the forest.

"And then, we can build a castle made entirely of daisies! And after that we can go up to Candy Mountain like Yusuke was saying. The snow there is made of powdered sugar. We can make powdered sugar angels! And then, we'll make hot cocoa and-"

"Spazz, where the hell are we going?" Kuwabara interjected (yes, he was alive again- _**again**_).

The girl shot him a look of pure contempt as Hiei thanked the lords for Kuwabara and the interruption, hoping his gratitude to the idiot wouldn't create some kind of apocalyptic paradox.

"We're going to the Pogateotr," Spazz replied disdainfully.

"What in the makai-"

"Silence, mortal!" Spazz shrieked as she ninja kicked him in the face. The baka fell to the ground, dead.

Dragon, Kurama, and Yusuke peered down at Kuwabara's body.

"Wow. She snapped his neck," Kurama murmured.

"I didn't know you had so much repressed anger," Dragon grinned proudly to Spazz, giving her a congratulatory pat on the shoulder.

The girl shrugged. "I didn't know cogitator was a word."

"I did," Dragon responded.

"Nuh uh! You're a liar," Spazz whined.

"Yeah, you caught me," Dragon sighed. "My walking dictionary skills have failed me."

Hiei threw up his arms in disgust. "What the hell did that have to do with anything? And where the hell is that Potagor- Pagito- whatever-it's-called place?!"

"Who the hell other than these freaks would know?" Kuronue murmured. The fire demon nodded in fervent concurrence.

"The Pogateotr," Spazz informed the two haughtily, "is an acronym for the Pot of Gold at the End of the Rainbow."

Everyone stared warily at the girl.

"You're kidding, right?" Kurama sighed.

Dragon promptly stole his hat, placing it upon her own head. "Why the hell would she be kidding? She said that's what it stands for. It's as simple as that."

"Why the hell does everyone keep asking 'hell' questions?" Yusuke demanded.

The group turned their focus to him, exasperated.

"Dammit, I did it too!" Yusuke realized a little late.

Dragon turned to Spazz. "I dunno what the hell is going on here, but I'm not doing it. So unless you're going behind my back and messing with reality, I think we have a problem."

"It's the leprechauns!" Spazz shrieked, running in circles and panicking.

"Are we in Ireland?" Kuronue asked. Dragon nodded. "Why the hell are we in Ireland?"

"What the _hell_ is going on here?" A loud voice demanded, interrupting the group. They turned and saw… DUN DUN DUN…

Yoko Kurama and Kairee.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing here?!" Kurama shouted, pointing at Yoko. Kairee gasped, offended.

"No you did not!" she shouted. "My fox does _NOT_ cuss!"

"Uhh……Hell isn't a cuss word." Dragon said, looking confused. Kairee looked outraged. Yoko cocked his head.

"Isn't that Kuronue's hat?"

"It is when Kurama says it!" Kairee shouted.

"Yeah."

"Where did you get it?" Yoko asked suspiciously.

"From Kuronue. Wait…..KURONUE! YOU GET YOUR NOT-DEAD ASS BACK HERE!" Nothing in the forest moved at all. "Did I mention I'll hunt you down and drag you into places you've never heard of, nor will ever escape?" she muttered darkly. From out of the trees appeared a pouting bat demon, trudging forth.

"Hey! Are you ignoring me?!" Kairee asked.

Dragon turned to her. "Yeah! Pretty effective, huh?" she asked brightly. Kairee put her hand on her chin.

"It was." she mused. Kairee held her hand out and Dragon shook it.

"Can I ask a question?" Hiei asked.

"I'm assuming you mean "Can I ask a second question?" Spazz corrected.

"Yes." he growled back.

"Sure, Heidi." Dragon replied, attaching a tracker to Kuronue's back, where he couldn't reach.

"As long as it has 'hell' in it." Kairee added.

"Fine. If _you_," he pointed to Yoko, "are a personality of _you_," he pointed to Kurama, "then what…the hell are you two doing in the same place?"

"I don't know." Yoko replied calmly.

"That's what _I_ asked." Kurama said, pouting slightly.

"Duh!" Spazz shouted loudly, waving her arms about.

"It's because we're in Ireland!" Dragon stated, as if stating that Kuronue had wings because

he was a bat demon. Kairee rolled her eyes and sighed in exasperation.

"I thought you were smarter than Yusuke!" Kairee said scornfully.

"What does that mean? Has _Yusuke_ yet concluded that Yoko and Kurama are separate entities because we are in Ireland?"

"No," Dragon said, "but he was smart enough not to ask."

"Dragon, you can't be _too_ mean to Hiei. He might decide not to go on our adventure, and then I won't have anyone to skip around!" Spazz blurted out.

"You mean I have a choice not to go?" Hiei asked cautiously.

"No." Kairee responded. "It's mandatory."

"Then why…" he started.

"We like to get your hopes up high, then send 'em crashing back down." Dragon informed him smugly. Hiei muttered darkly to himself. "Besides, you heard the King."

"What king?" Kurama asked. Dragon stared at him in shock.

"Y-you don't know…? I thought you told him?!" She spun around to face Spazz.

"I didn't tell him. Kairee was supposed to say something at the last board meeting."

"Ah." Dragon said, pushing her glasses up her nose. "So it's official?"

"It's official." Spazz confirmed.

"What's official?" Kuronue and Yoko asked in unison.

"I'd like to blame Canada for this travesty." Kairee raised her hand.

"I'd like to blame stairs!" Dragon erupted.

"Well, you both're wrong." Spazz informed them.

"Awww…" they said in unison.

"It's Kuwabaka's fault."

"I can live with that." Kairee said thoughtfully.

"…Are you _sure_ we can't blame stairs?" Dragon asked hopefully. Spazz scowled and

Dragon sighed. "I suppose not……"

"HEY! Quit moping! We have an adventure to be going on!" she shouted. Dragon

immediately cheered up and took the lead.

"ONWARD, COWS!" she shouted.

"Hey! I'm in the front!" Spazz complained. "You need to keep an eye on your captive."

Dragon's face lit up with realization. Kairee walked last, behind Kurama and his alter-ego, the two of which conversed with Kuronue, who was walking behind/beside of Dragon. Spazz skipped cheerily around Hiei, listing off all the things they'd do when they got to Pogateotr.


End file.
